I used to read stacks of books: I just can’t any more. How do I start again?
It feels shameful.
The conversation turns to books and reading. You’re itching to run away. You used to read voraciously as a child and teenager. You’d get through a stack of books a week. What the Hell happened? It used to be so easy. Now you can barely concentrate on a page the whole way through without giving up.
I was diagnosed with ADHD a few years back, and I definitely find that I can struggle to really keep my attention on one specific thing for long periods of time — I’m a big TV and film guy and I find it really easy to actively engage with a wide variety of TV and movies, but it’s often a lot tougher for me to focus on reading text.
Some people will despair at people’s attention spans and just whine about people being on their phones and so on, and I have no doubt that is a contributing factor to difficulty reading for a lot of people, but for me, it’s less specifically about my phone or screens, and more about getting myself into a comfortably immersive state where I can really get into what I’m reading.
It’s not just about eliminating distractions — it’s also about letting myself fully understand, immerse myself in, and enjoy whatever I’m reading.
I don’t think that punishing oneself or focusing too much of the guilt or shame of not reading is very helpful or conducive to actually helping you get back into reading books — if you crack open a new book and you’re not really enjoying it, but all you can think of is how you never read anything any more and isn’t that awful and people must think you’re so stupid and you waste too much time that you could spend reading and blah blah blah…
You’re still not going to enjoy that book.
You’re just going to feel bad about not enjoying it twice over.
It’s also important to remember that like any other forms of physical or mental exercise, reading longer swathes of text for ages at a time is something that you generally need to work up to.
You don’t go from no exercise for years to jogging 10k every day. You might start by walking or doing a slower jog around the block, and then you slowly work up your stamina, your attention, your muscles, your focus, or otherwise you’ll just be miserable. You won’t enjoy what you’re doing — it will just feel horribly punishing, and you might well cause yourself an injury.
Forcing yourself to concentrate on a book you’re not enjoying isn’t going to give you a physical injury, but you could well give yourself a headache, and apart from that, where’s the actual benefit of the reading if it just feels like suffering?
The reason many of us ache and feel horrible when we think of how easy it was to read as kids or teenagers is because we enjoyed it. It felt incredibly immersive and enjoyable to just drop into this new world and let everything else fade away.
That’s the feeling we want to replicate — the joy of reading.
You don’t create joy by forcing it.
You have to be able to relax and let it come to you.
These tips are primarily going to be aimed at the sort of struggles I have with reading and those of my friends, so they might not work for everybody, but hopefully one or two of these can help you get back into it if you’ve been missing reading as a hobby.
Finding The Right Books
When you’re a kid, you haven’t read that many books yet, and nor do you have that much experience of the world, of different stories that can be told.
Your standards are lower.
As your tastes develop and you have more interest in specific sorts of characters or narratives or worlds, as you learn more about what good or satisfying craft looks like, hone your own sense of what you consider “good writing”, you’re less able to pick up any random book and just get reading.
So how do you find the right books to read?
Every other thing you pick up feels like a chore. The writing is bad or you just don’t gel with the characters or it feels like such a slog to get into it, et cetera.
Do you have friends that like the same sorts of TV or film as you do? The same sorts of videogames as you do? Ask them for recs. Look up recommendations on forums — on socials or on Reddit — for books you might like if you like your favourite thing.
Have a special interest in a particular craft or area of history? Find authors with the same special interests and fixations, and go for those.
Again, guilt isn’t useful here. There’s no sense going, oh, it doesn’t count if it’s trashy romance, or erotica, or if it’s young adult fiction or even children’s literature, or if it’s LitRPG, or a graphic novel, or whatever else.
Sure it does.
If it’s enjoyable to read, read it.
Even if your goal in getting back into reading is in order to get through the intimidating stack of Pullitzer Prize Winners and centuries-old classics untouched in a pile on the bedside table, remember what I said about reading being an exercise?
Start with whatever is easiest. It’s fine if it’s trashy or juvenile or silly. You’re not reading to impress anybody — this is for you. Read whatever’s most fun and easiest at once, and then work up to the heavier or more difficult-to-read classics or whatever else. It will be easier than starting from 0.
If you’re queer like me and you just do not care about straight people’s problems, don’t even bother with straight people’s recommendations. They mean well, but a lot of broader hetero genre work can feel really bizarre and unrelatable.
Find fun gay transsexuals who are writing characters and relationships like you — find people writing sexy disabled people, weird autistics, funny transgender girls who are into pup play. Go right for the freaks and the weirdos who are self-publishing bizarre and horny novels that would never be on the Good Morning Show.
Again, it’s about finding books that are fun.
When you’re a kid, you might find any book to be an adventure because it’s new — if what you’re looking to replicate is that feeling of being seen and understood, of seeing the world in a new and delightful way, of feeling the book is opening your mind to new and wonderful things… Find the people who are actually able to do that for you.
As much as I have affection for the man, straight man Steve King can’t do horror for everybody — he’s not trying to, and nor should he. There are many many queer authors, female authors, disabled authors, authors of colour, Black authors, Jewish authors, trans authors, intersex authors, of horror that might feel way more frightening or way more engaging to you, and that’s just one example.
If there’s a podcaster you like and they also write books, great! A comedian you like who also does books? Great! A celebrity or historical figure that has a good memoir or biography! Excellent!
Start with what you already like and enjoy, the voices you’re drawn to, and seek out books like that, rather than starting with books you’re Meant To enjoy or that Seem Important.
Tricking Your Brain Into Thinking It’s On Ao3
You read loads of fanfiction, and somehow, it’s just so easy.
How the Hell do you transfer that enthusiasm to original works?
Firstly, you can read original fiction on Ao3 — now and then, you might find a great author of one fandom that also has good original works, maybe give those a little perusal.
Secondly, the big ease that comes with fanfiction is that fanfiction has its own genre conventions.
“Oh, you already know the characters, and that’s what makes it easy!”
No, or people wouldn’t read complex alternate universes with very similar but ultimately different versions of the canon characters in new worlds and new dynamics to one another.
“Oh, well, the relationships are already established — “
Many authors do write books where you start with certain relationships established.
It isn’t just that fanfiction is trashy. People whine about “oh, it reads like fanfic”, and a lot of the time, what they’re complaining about are certain genre conventions common to fanfiction on Ao3 that they are unfamiliar with or otherwise want to whinge about. Ignore those people, they suck.
Do you read the same sorts of pairings or kinks or vibes in fanfic? See if you can find original works with those some dynamics or kinks or vibes.
Look for ex-fandom or current-fandom authors who also write original fiction. Look through Bluesky or Tumblr or other socials. Ask your favourite blorbo obsessors what their favourite books are, or if there are books who remind them of your blorbos.
Got a blorbo you know and love from your favourite TV or film?
If it’s based on a book or if it got a novelisation, go check that out.
Pacific Rim and Crimson Peak both have novelisations — I loved the Crimson Peak novelisation, and the Pacific Rim novelisation gives a lot of extra detail and ideas about the characters and the world that isn’t able to be present in the film.
I watched the first eight episodes of Murderbot TV earlier this month, loved it, and then obsessively read up to Book 5 before actually finishing the last two episodes of the series, because I just loved the vibe so much. Big recommend on those ones, of course!
Do you know the Shousetsu Bang*Bang?
SBB is a queer zine that comes out every two months devoted to queer sex and love and romance — every story contains some queer erotic content, and there’s a delicious variety of narratives, characters, vibes, kinks, and all the rest, and it’s all original work!
Many of these authors also write for fandoms or used to! You may well enjoy the many flavours on offer!
And pro-tip?
If you’re reading eBooks on your phone or a tablet, swap it to scroll mode instead of page by page. Literally trick your brain into doing the same thing it does to read on Ao3.
Audiobooks Can Count
Can’t concentrate on the page?
That’s fine. Get audiobooks.
Doesn’t have to be an Audible subscription or to buy audiobooks online — there’s plenty pirated ones on YouTube and so forth, of course, but you can often buy cheap disc audiobooks in charity shops for a quid or two, especially the James Bond books or similar big franchises, as well as certain classics.
There’s LibriVox, which are amateur readings normally of classics, but you should also check out your local library — they might have audiobooks on disc you can check out, and they may also have a resource like BorrowBox where you can check out eBooks or audiobooks.
Listen to an audiobook whilst doing chores, whilst crocheting or doing LEGO or going for a walk or a jog. Listen to an audiobook whilst playing a game that doesn’t have much or any dialogue, whilst doing a jigsaw or a sudoku.
If it helps you, read the eBook or paperback whilst playing the audiobook, and simply read along with it!
Starting Small
I already mentioned the intimidating classics and prize winners, but what you might also be struggling with is the sheer commitment of sticking with a big novel or even a short novel.
That’s fine.
Start with short stories and novellas.
The first Murderbot book, All Systems Red, is only 160 pages compared to the 300 or so pages of many novels — many indie and small press authors publish novellas and shorter works that are only 8,000 to 25,000 words.
A Coup of Owls, Bona Books, Neon Hemlock, these are all small publishers that do anthologies and novellas in my sphere of joyfully queer and trans Sci-Fi and Fantasy fiction, and I absolutely recommend!
I’ve also been doing really well this summer with some of the short story collections published by The British Library — I finished their collection of nautical horror stories, From The Depths, and I only have one or two short stories left in Weird Woods, which is horror stories from woodlands in the British Isles, and then I’m going to start Our Haunted Shores.
They’ve got dozens of these themed collections, and it’s great to be able to read so many classic short stories on a particular theme where it’s only twenty to forty pages of a paperback, and a complete short story means that if you do lose steam and get distracted for a few days or even weeks or months before getting back to the book, you’re not confused or scrambling for your place in the narrative in the way you can be with a longer, chaptered narrative.
Some Last Tips
Are you someone that gets a good boost from apps like Habitica, or achievements or logging things that you get from sites like GoodReads or TheStoryGraph? Use them!
If you’re nervous about friends seeing the cringey stuff you want to read and post on Goodreads, just make a secret horny account that’s anonymous. Who’s to know?
Join Discords or book clubs, or start reading a book with your partner or a friend. It’s much easier to do a task when you’re doing parallel play, when you can talk about it as you go.
Maybe take turns reading chapters or pages aloud to your friends or partners and make it a fun thing that you’re doing together — take turns doing the voices, do some improv, get silly with it.
A hundred years ago, two hundred years ago, that was a not uncommon way for a family or a group of friends to enjoy a book together before the radio or the TV. There’s no need for big production values or to all Be Amazing Performers — it’s just about having fun.
Have a regular commute? Try to make it a habit to read a few pages on your bus or train journey instead of being on your phone. Pop on an audiobook instead of your usual podcast or playlist.
And most of all… Have fun!
Shame is the enemy of personal progress and development. You don’t deserve punishment or reprisal for not having kept up with a hobby you used to enjoy! All you deserve is love and support, and I wish you luck and success wherever you might find it!
If you’re interested in getting back into reading with a 1920s gay erotic romance between a gentleman polio survivor and his fat and sexy new butler, I can help you with that. Also, you can follow me on Bluesky.
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