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Sticky Post: Where Do I Start Reading?
I’ve just found your work and there’s a lot of it, where do I start? Welcome to my website! First off, my name is Johannes (Yo-Han-Ehz) T. Evans. I’m a gay, disabled, transgender man originally from Chepstow in the South of Wales, and I now live in Bradford in West Yorkshire, though for several years before now I lived in Galway, in the west of the Irish Republic. I’ve been writing for years, and you might actually already be familiar with my work – I’ve been on Tumblr under various URLs (before using my own name, JohannesTEvans, I was at…
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As a Trans Man, Why Do Doctors Always Want to Get Me Pregnant?
I’m so tired of fielding questions about my “lost” fertility Photo by Pixabay via Pexels. I can’t tell you how often I am asked this question by any medical professional. I mention that I’m on testosterone, have been on T for years. This script goes forward even with my endocrinologists. DOCTOR, with a pinched look on their face: And what about your fertility? ME: What about my fertility? DOCTOR: Are you aware that testosterone can make you infertile? ME: I am, it’s one of the many benefits. I still want a hysterectomy though. DOCTOR, with an even more pinched look on…
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A Grindr Hook-Up
Sex and intimacy on demand. Photo by Ketut Subiyanto via Pexels. “Hi.” “Hi.” “Find the place okay?” “Yeah.” “Come upstairs. This way.” It’s always funny, the first moment a hook-up crosses the threshold into my bedroom, the way he looks around, takes in the place — the flags and posters, the LEGO I have on display, my computer set-up, my calendar. We all do it when we enter someone’s space, make a measure of them based on the evidence provided. I sit back on the bed, lean back on my hands. He kicks off his shoes, maybe drops his jacket, but before he undresses…
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Questions You Wish You Could Ask A Gay Transgender Man
A tongue-in-cheek take on cisgender people’s frequently asked questions. the pride progress flag by daniel quasar Are you a man or a woman? I’m a man. But it’s confusing. How do I know if you’re really a man or a woman? Great question. So when I said, “I’m a man,” that can generally be interpreted to mean, “I’m a man”. But have you always been a man? Nope! In English, normally we refer to “children” and “boys” and “girls”, and later we refer to them as “adults” and “men” and “women”. That’s not what I meant! Are you really a man…
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The Secretary
Short story. A young woman goes to collect her inheritance. 4.1k, rated M. Content warnings for loss of a loved one and non-graphic references to sexual assault. Sarah had never even known the man, so when the letter had come, it had been a surprise. She hadn’t even been sad at first — she’d felt somewhat guilty about it, but her initial response had been irritation, anger. Her father had never bothered to meet her, and yet here he was, dying and leaving her paperwork to fill out, all this shit to go through, all this stuff to do. It’s not fair,…
Category: Gen, Setting: 1960s, Theme: Anxiety Disorders, Theme: Books & Literature, Theme: Grief & Loss, Theme: Homophobia, Theme: Men Who Love Men | Homosexuality, Theme: PTSD & C-PTSD, Theme: Retirement, Theme: Sailors & Sailing, Theme: Secretaries & Personal Assistants, Theme: Sexual Abuse & Rape, Theme: Trauma & Trauma Recovery, Theme: Veterans & Retired Soldiers, Theme: World War II, Theme: Writing, World: Magic Beholden -
Passing Privilege: Through My Eyes, as a Trans Man Who Passes
Second puberty and the waves we send through the spaces around us. Originally published in Prism & Pen in June, 2023. I came out as trans at about fifteen or sixteen, changed my name, and I’ve lived as a man since. As a young man doing my A-Levels, going to university, and working afterwards, I was out as a man, using he/him pronouns, using my actual name — And I passed okay. To people who had no idea what a trans man looked like, it was pretty easy to give people a funny look and say, “I’m a man,” in a…
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Paper Houses
Fantasy/romance short. A train conductor begins a relationship with a regular passenger. 7k, rated M, M/M. Some sweet autistic 4 autistic love and affection with a build to the relationship and some fantastical elements on the side. Adapted from a TweetFic. CWs for past domestic abuse, physical abuse, scars, and implied ableism. Roy sees the same man on the train on his commute pretty much every weekday he’s working. He always sits at a table — he likes to book a seat in advance no matter what, and Roy knows he’s not scared of insisting a seat is his when he has…
Kink: Size Difference, Theme: Ableism, Theme: Anxiety Disorders, Theme: Autism & ADHD, Theme: Banter & Flirtation, Theme: Child Abuse & Neglect, Theme: Debt & Money Troubles, Theme: Family Dynamics, Theme: Ghosts & Necromancy, Theme: Intimacy, Theme: Models & Figurines & Dioramas, Theme: Power Dynamics & Imbalances, Theme: Power Struggles, Theme: PTSD & C-PTSD, Theme: Scars & Permanent Injuries, Theme: Secretaries & Personal Assistants, Theme: Trains & Railways, Theme: Trauma & Trauma Recovery, World: Magic Beholden -
Movie Review: Lawn Dogs (1997, dir. John Duigan)
What an interesting fucking film. This review also on Letterboxd. One of the end stills of the film, via IMDb. So like… This is a film from the perspective of a ten-year-old girl who grows up emotionally neglected and isolated in a picture-perfect gated community — having survived a heart transplant, she is in many ways morbid and isolated from other children her age, and this is really driven home by the complete dearth of same-age children in her community but for a little boy who serves as a counterbalance for her presence on screen. Where Devon (Mischa Barton) is quiet and contemplative, intrigued…
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More gay (or bi) dudes in movies!
Recommendations for more movies featuring men who love men. I already wrote a list of movies (and one or two TV series) in a rec list in 2021, and I’m not going to be repeating any of those recommendations here. There’s fifty feature-length or more pieces of media on the old list, plus three short films! Just a disclaimer as I put on the other list, not all of these movies are made by explicitly queer creators or for queer audiences, and some of them are queer only in the subtext or I’m only presenting a queer reading of the text…
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The Straight Male Gaze on Pretty Male Gays
How does it feel when straight men want to fuck us? A quick little intro — I went ham on this one. I watched A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge and it just gave me a lot of feelings. Warnings throughout this piece for discussion of the film’s gore and violence, the homophobia both in- and out- of universe, sexual violence, homophobia in general. I use a lot of slurs in this one because I self-identify with a lot of them, and a lot of this piece is about the ways in which queer identity is weaponised and not weaponised against…
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Prices Paid
Fiction short. A man possessed by myriad demons greets his on-and-off lover. 1.4k, M/M. Asmodeus and Hamish MacKinnon! Just a short, sharp little piece between two sad, sharp men. Adapted from a TweetFic. The demons swarmed to the window in a leathery cloud of flapping wings, hissing and chittering from the very bases of their neatly segmented torsos, their claws skittering and squeaking on the glass. It was reinforced, but that didn’t mean Hamish stood for this sort of carry-on. “Stop it,” he ordered sharply, giving a sharp clap of two plump hands: the sound wasn’t tremendously loud, especially not…
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Uncling Duties
A selection of conversations with my friends’ cats. It’s spring, and before returning home to Galway, I’m staying with some very good friends, L & T, for a few days. This means time with their cats, too. Day #0 L, excitedly, blue eyes sparkling: Would you like to see the children? ME: Absolutely, yes, please, right now. We go into the living room, where the children, Kira and Bercow, are on the windowsill. Bercow, a great beast of a tuxedo creature carved from black-furred beef, looks uncomprehendingly at us; Kira, sleek and agile, stares at us with slightly more comprehension, but…
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After Class
Erotic short. It’s very hot in Judd’s lecture, and he’s distracted. Explicit M/NB short between two alchemy students at the Royal University in Camelot — one is a cis guy, the other is nonbinary and uses they/them pronouns! 2.6k. Commissioned by a patron, Bellona. Contains spanking, breast worship, casual sex, semi-public sex, anal. A little worldbuilding too! Terms used are cock and tits. Interested in approaching me for a commission? Check out my rates here. Judd was struggling to pay attention. The summer air was hot, sweet, and balmy: there was a stickiness on the air, and as close as they were…
Category: NB/M and NB/NB, Commissioned Works & Art Trades, Kink: Anal Sex, Kink: Body Worship, Kink: Pheromones & Aphrodisiacs, Kink: Public Sex, Kink: Spanking, Kink: Teasing, Setting: Camelot, Setting: Camelot University, Theme: Banter & Flirtation, Theme: Casual Sex, Theme: Learning & Education, Theme: Nonbinary Characters, Theme: Schools & Libraries & Archives, Theme: Study & Academia -
Fit For Purpose
Erotic short. Supervillains and superheroes, but with massive cocks and stretchy bodies. Photo by Miriam Espacio via Pexels. Oh, yes, you read that right. M/M explicit short between a huge cis male alien superhero and a trans man supervillain with whole-body elasticity. 4.2k. Silly and light in humour, but extreme on the porn! Featuring pheromones (mildly dubious consent for this, but both parties use pheromones to get their way, and are enthusiastically into it), come inflation, huge size difference, unrealistic sex, alien dicks, prodigious amounts of come, dom/sub, mild corporal punishment, undernegotiated kink, rough sex, objectification, dirty talk. Enjoy! Glory didn’t often…
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Wearing Waistcoats
Finding waistcoats, choosing a fit, and wearing them. There are a few varieties of waistcoat and vest you might be interested in wearing — a typical modern waistcoat is ordinarily assumed to be part of men’s formalwear, with two front sections that button at the centre or to one side of the abdomen, and a back section. For wear with a suit, you might expect the vest to be made of wool, tweed, or linen, either entirely or in weave blends, although cheaper waistcoats might be made of polyester and/or viscose with elastane, especially if you’re looking at stretch-fit pieces. I’m going to…
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The Precarity of Subscription-Based Income
We’re basically busking online. No wonder we have anxiety about it. So let’s start out by saying that in the scheme of things, I am doing okay. I am not starving, I am not at risk of losing my home, and most months I can afford all the medications and medical care I am prescribed without difficulty. This is a piece intended for online artists and other creators to work through the emotions of this kind of precarity and insecurity — it’s not intended to make any of my fans or my regular readers feel guilty for not giving me more money, or…
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Do I have to be masculine to be a top?
Unpacking some feelings of gender in and around sex and sex acts. Photo by Anete Lusina via Pexels. Another blog post coming from an anonymous ask on Tumblr! Anonymous asked: Okay so similarly to last anon about topping as a trans guy/trans masc, how do you build the confidence within yourself to top someone with a penis? Cause my partner is super kind and willing to let me learn but I struggle with my own mental barrier of lime not being “manly” enough or confident enough for topping. I know a lot of it is internalized transphobia but I just wasn’t sure…